Celebrate Your Small Wins

Celebrate Your Small Wins

It is party time! Release the balloons. Pop a bottle. Blow out the candles on your cake. 

It may not feel like it, but YOU deserve a celebration. Right now, we are celebrating the moment. This moment is THE MOMENT. This moment is your moment. Our world is changing every day, and the social constructs that we were so familiar with begin to amaze us with how they have transitioned. There may be times when we feel that we are not doing enough to be a part of these moments; by celebrating small wins in our everyday life, we can correlate them to other aspects of our lives that we found challenging to face. 

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Challenge: Indecisiveness: You have a hard time making a decision. 

Small Win: You chose a movie or TV show to watch.  

Why It’s A Win: There are a plethora of options and directions to go. Every day you are making important decisions that impact the lives of you, your family members, and the people you work with. We can ruminate over every one of them at length, but this is a small decision that brings you a bit of joy in the moment. 

Challenge: Unhealthy eating habits. You have eaten cereal for dinner three nights in a row. 

Small Win: You remembered to nourish yourself. 

Why It’s A Win: The definition of “unhealthy eating” is more subjective to our social ideas and pressure. We have learned along the way that what we do in times of hardship is wrong, rather than a part of survival instincts. Your circumstances financially and emotionally impact what is defined as “unhealthy.” It’s okay because you recognized it as something you wouldn’t normally do, and you will try something that feels healthier to you the next day. 

Challenge: You haven’t been paying attention to all the politics and don’t quite understand what is happening

Small Win: You recognized change is occurring and have a desire to make sense of something

Why It’s a Win: There is a lot of information globally, and it gets very confusing. Not everyone can follow every event happening in the political landscape. Focus your influences locally and within your circle of influence. Do some research with other people who make you feel comfortable in asking questions about the issues. Make sure that you are registered to vote. Remember to vote. That’s all the heavy mental lifting that’s required.

Challenge: You didn’t do all the items on your list and did nothing all-day

Small Win: You took rest

Why It’s A Win: We are conditioned to work hard to get our rewards. There is enough hustle culture in the world that we often forget what all the hustling is for. Take a day to recharge and reset yourself. 

Challenge: You haven’t showered in 3 days

Small Win: Your sense of smell kicked, and you only smell like you’re dying

Why It’s A Win: You’re loved ones will be grateful that you have chiseled off those leggings and the stained T-shirt. That shower, when you finally take it, is going to feel like such a relief. The air around you will be such a relief to breathe in.  

You showed up for the moment where you needed yourself. Stop beating yourself up for not doing the thing that you planned to do. Celebrate the small wins in your life. You have been in the moment that your journey led you to. Where are you supporting yourself and your accomplishments? 

About the author: Brandy Collins is a Bay Area native full of Scorpio magic and self-proclaimed Professional Aunty telling stories for Oakland Voices, Oaklandside, and the funny one in group chats. Follow on twitter @gurl79, Instagram @story_soul_collecter, and her website http://storysoulcollector.com/.

Self-Love is…

We spend every day in the service of other people. In our work, we cater to the needs of our employer, our staff and our colleagues. In our relationships, we lookout for our mates and friends making sure they have support to love and grow. As parents and for those with aging parents we work to keep safe and cared for. As we walk through the world we are compassionate for people who are the most vulnerable and in need of love. However, when it comes to ourselves, it’s not so easy.

Self-love is reminding yourself that you are worthy of your own time and attention. Remember to give yourself time to breathe, intentionally. You are worthy of taking a day off to rest. You are worthy to remember that you aren’t just a sister, mother or significant other. You have a name and it should be celebrated by you first.

Self-love is showing up for yourself. Be present in not only your best moments but also the challenging moments. Don’t distract yourself from these moments because they are a part of your growth.  Reflection can come afterward. You can share it with others when the time is right. However, when something happens, stay in that moment.

Self-love is being compassionate with yourself. It means genuinely loving who you are. You came into being through your efforts and actions. You have shed beliefs and changed your mind about who you are. Be loving of yourself in those moments.

Self-love is defending yourself the same way you would defend a friend or a child. It sounds cliche, however, the words you say to yourself are not the words you would allow anyone else to say to you. Talk to yourself out loud. Feel the words as you say them. Tell yourself that you tried your best and that you will try harder the next time.

Loving yourself is not an easy task. It’s far easier to pour yourself into other people and their needs than to look for your own love. Each day we must make the effort to remind ourselves that we deserve the same attention as our lovers, family, and friends. How will you commit to loving yourself, sis?

About the author: Brandy Collins is a Bay Area native full of Scorpio magic and self-proclaimed Professional Aunty telling stories for Oakland Voices and numerous group chats. Follow on twitter @gurl79 or Instagram @story_soul_collecter

Winter Wellness Retreat Reflection

Written by guest author: Brandy Collins

View once you enter Westerbeke Ranch

On the road driving toward the Westerbeke Ranch are two signs that say “Time to slow down.” It was the first reminder for sisters joining the Inaugural SIS Circle Wellness Retreat that this was their time and it should be taken wisely and with patience. Internal work lay ahead.

Upon arrival, we greeted each other with warmth and bringing our energy for the weekend’s theme “This Woman’s Worth.” We all settled into our rooms, roamed the grounds with a cup of tea, and discovered nooks to relax like sitting by the picturesque fire.

SIS Circle executive director and co-founder Leilani Carbonell Pedroni

Just before dusk, we gathered at the retreat center’s main room where SIS Circle co-founder Leilani Carbonell Pedroni welcomed us and gave us insight into why and how SIS Circle started. The name says it all. SIS stands for strength in sisterhood. We are all strong, and as women together, our power can serve to support, care and inspire each of us collectively.

Sybil Clark Amuti from The Great Girlfriends Podcast

Next, Leilani introduced guest speaker Sybil Clark Amuti, co-host of the podcast, The Great Girlfriends. Sybil gave us an empowering, and vulnerable talk then led an exercise where each woman partnered with our eyes closed and spoke love into one another. “Go back to the 5-year-old you. Who was that little girl? Was she safe? Are you nurturing her now?” With my eyes shut I was in tears. I knew coming into this space that something had to be shaken loose. It wasn’t a tumultuous year for me, but something was stifling. Something was missing, and for months I couldn’t figure out what it was. Here I was crying in front of a woman I had only met a few hours ago, teary-eyed and hugging one another. The bond was sealed, and the work on internally acknowledging each other’s strength began from this moment forward. Sybil explained that our desires and worth were in us. What we want is there, but we must define what we want, clearly, and without hesitation. As women nurtured each other, there was rainfall to match the cleansing.

75 year-old Florentina Carbonell with other sisters Julie Ziegler, Jodie Karigaca, and Sonya Merical

During the delicious locally grown dinner discussion flowed about kids, families, wants, and desires. Afterward, each participant was given a gratitude box filled with gifts from women-owned businesses including a SIS Circle t-shirt (logo design by mommy blogger and graphic designer Ruby Hunt), handmade bath soap from Ilo Mind & Body, peppermint spiritual bath from Queen Hippie Gypsy, a rose quartz bracelet designed from Gifts of Prosperity, herbal tea from Tara’s Teas, coffee mug from The Great Girlfriends, and other items donated by fellow SIS Circle members. With music playing in the background of empowered women including Mary J. Blige, India Arie, Erykah Badu, Lauryn Hill, and Alicia Keys during the free time, a couple of sisters showed off their acro-yoga talents, a few danced and sang freely, others shared personal stories strengthening our bonds into the wee hours of the night.

Day Two

Sunrise through the trees

Day two of the retreat came with a purple sunrise through lush trees. Coffee tea and a scrumptious breakfast continued the talks from the previous night. The ladies were ready for meditation led by Gifts of Prosperity owner Kenji Correa. Each breath guided in love and out with old habits. In with worthiness and out with doubt. In self love and out with self abuse. The light within looked different when we opened our eyes.

Self-care with Shumsha Hanif-Cruz

Next, sister Shumsha Hanif-Cruz, family law attorney, reminded each of us that “we cannot take care of others if we are not taking care of ourselves.” We were given a self-assessment test  that showed each person where she should could grow in her self-care. Shumsha gave us a list of 100 acts of self-care which included small items like painting your nails to taking yourself on a date.

SIS Circle co-founder Elaine Carbonell

SIS Circle co-founder Elaine Carbonell opened the next session with a personal testimonial of how she worked her way out of feelings of unworthiness through feminine dance movement.  Dance instructor, chocolatier, and birthing doula Mikka Minx loosened the stiffness from carrying the world on our shoulders followed by lunch.

The final activity was a vision board workshop where sister Sonja shared her boards to the group. Singing together and deciding on “Aunty Jams,” each woman put together the visions we wanted for ourselves in the near future; some wanted travel, some set positive health goals; others financial security.  I realized feeling supported, open and heard is addicting. It made me want to be around this energy more. SIS Circle sisters ended the day with hugs, new and strengthened bonds of sisterhood, and a vision of her worth that exceeded expectations.

Vision Board activity
Wellness Retreat
Inaugural SIS Circle Retreat – Westerbeke Ranch, Sonoma, CA

Brandy Collins is a Bay Area native living in Scorpio magic, observing of the world, and telling stories about people in random places. Follow on twitter @gurl79 or Instagram @story_soul_collector