self-care – SIS Circle

October 9, 2020October 9, 2020

Celebrate Your Small Wins

It is party time! Release the balloons. Pop a bottle. Blow out the candles on your cake.

It may not feel like it, but YOU deserve a celebration. Right now, we are celebrating the moment. This moment is THE MOMENT. This moment is your moment. Our world is changing every day, and the social constructs that we were so familiar with begin to amaze us with how they have transitioned. There may be times when we feel that we are not doing enough to be a part of these moments; by celebrating small wins in our everyday life, we can correlate them to other aspects of our lives that we found challenging to face.

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Challenge: Indecisiveness: You have a hard time making a decision.

Small Win: You chose a movie or TV show to watch.

Why It’s A Win: There are a plethora of options and directions to go. Every day you are making important decisions that impact the lives of you, your family members, and the people you work with. We can ruminate over every one of them at length, but this is a small decision that brings you a bit of joy in the moment.

Challenge: Unhealthy eating habits. You have eaten cereal for dinner three nights in a row.

Small Win: You remembered to nourish yourself.

Why It’s A Win: The definition of “unhealthy eating” is more subjective to our social ideas and pressure. We have learned along the way that what we do in times of hardship is wrong, rather than a part of survival instincts. Your circumstances financially and emotionally impact what is defined as “unhealthy.” It’s okay because you recognized it as something you wouldn’t normally do, and you will try something that feels healthier to you the next day.

Challenge: You haven’t been paying attention to all the politics and don’t quite understand what is happening

Small Win: You recognized change is occurring and have a desire to make sense of something

Why It’s a Win: There is a lot of information globally, and it gets very confusing. Not everyone can follow every event happening in the political landscape. Focus your influences locally and within your circle of influence. Do some research with other people who make you feel comfortable in asking questions about the issues. Make sure that you are registered to vote. Remember to vote. That’s all the heavy mental lifting that’s required.

Challenge: You didn’t do all the items on your list and did nothing all-day

Small Win: You took rest

Why It’s A Win: We are conditioned to work hard to get our rewards. There is enough hustle culture in the world that we often forget what all the hustling is for. Take a day to recharge and reset yourself.

Challenge: You haven’t showered in 3 days

Small Win: Your sense of smell kicked, and you only smell like you’re dying

Why It’s A Win: You’re loved ones will be grateful that you have chiseled off those leggings and the stained T-shirt. That shower, when you finally take it, is going to feel like such a relief. The air around you will be such a relief to breathe in.

You showed up for the moment where you needed yourself. Stop beating yourself up for not doing the thing that you planned to do. Celebrate the small wins in your life. You have been in the moment that your journey led you to. Where are you supporting yourself and your accomplishments?

About the author: Brandy Collins is a Bay Area native full of Scorpio magic and self-proclaimed Professional Aunty telling stories for Oakland Voices, Oaklandside, and the funny one in group chats. Follow on twitter @gurl79, Instagram @story_soul_collecter, and her website http://storysoulcollector.com/.

March 27, 2020

Unmoving in Faith

So there you are. Stuck and not moving. You may, at this point, feel like you are in a box, and you are not able to get out. The plans that you had for yourself and your loved ones seem as if they can not happen now. It could be a dead-end job, a relationship that didn’t go as planned or you’re under nationwide quarantine, and you literally can’t go anywhere. Whatever the reason, your plans have halted.

However, the thing that you need most to be stable has shifted -your faith. We’re not talking about faith in the religious sense. It is the faith in yourself that you started with that gave you optimism. When you started your plans, you prepared to leave your comfort zone for a new way of life; you had faith that you could make it work. It started somewhere. You were encouraged by something. You had a belief that if you set your intentions and put in the work, things could occur. Then a setback happened, doubt set in, and your faith began to waver.

Much of our current positive reinforcement wisdom today would say to think on the positive side about what is happening and don’t lose out on your faith. On the contrary, you shouldn’t ignore your doubts or pretend they don’t exist. Question and interrogate these fears. What happened that made me feel this way? If you aren’t able to see your way through doubt, have someone you trust to ask you some honest questions about your fears to put some logic to them. A technique in problem-solving analysis referred to as “5 whys” is a great way to get why you think or believe something is occurring.

Next, focus on the aspects you can control. A significant confidence boost is being able to accomplish a smaller task. It can be unrelated to the goals that you were planning to manifest. It can be as simple as completing a 500 piece puzzle. When you take a small step to gain control of one part of your life, confidence, and faith in yourself can be rebuilt.

Finally, the hardest part of restoring your faith is to remember that you are exactly where you are supposed to be in the moment you are supposed to be. When we are manifesting, we align our actions. When we are aligned, we are moving in the direction that is our path. The set back is a part of your alignment. This is the time when you should be reflecting and deciding if you want to continue. Your setback is a good time to stabilize your set up.

As you progress in the intentions you’ve set, your faith in yourself will too. It’s okay that your faith in yourself wavers from time to time. It’s normal. These moments of uncertainty are part of your growth. Sis, take this time and be still while you can.

About the author: Brandy Collins is a Bay Area native full of Scorpio magic and self-proclaimed Professional Aunty telling stories for Oakland Voices and numerous group chats. Follow on twitter @gurl79 or Instagram @story_soul_collecter

December 28, 2018April 1, 2019

Winter Wellness Retreat Reflection

Written by guest author: Brandy Collins

On the road driving toward the Westerbeke Ranch are two signs that say “Time to slow down.” It was the first reminder for sisters joining the Inaugural SIS Circle Wellness Retreat that this was their time and it should be taken wisely and with patience. Internal work lay ahead.

Upon arrival, we greeted each other with warmth and bringing our energy for the weekend’s theme “This Woman’s Worth.” We all settled into our rooms, roamed the grounds with a cup of tea, and discovered nooks to relax like sitting by the picturesque fire.

SIS Circle executive director and co-founder Leilani Carbonell Pedroni

Just before dusk, we gathered at the retreat center’s main room where SIS Circle co-founder Leilani Carbonell Pedroni welcomed us and gave us insight into why and how SIS Circle started. The name says it all. SIS stands for strength in sisterhood. We are all strong, and as women together, our power can serve to support, care and inspire each of us collectively.

*Sybil Clark Amuti from The Great Girlfriends Podcast*

Next, Leilani introduced guest speaker Sybil Clark Amuti, co-host of the podcast, The Great Girlfriends. Sybil gave us an empowering, and vulnerable talk then led an exercise where each woman partnered with our eyes closed and spoke love into one another. “Go back to the 5-year-old you. Who was that little girl? Was she safe? Are you nurturing her now?” With my eyes shut I was in tears. I knew coming into this space that something had to be shaken loose. It wasn’t a tumultuous year for me, but something was stifling. Something was missing, and for months I couldn’t figure out what it was. Here I was crying in front of a woman I had only met a few hours ago, teary-eyed and hugging one another. The bond was sealed, and the work on internally acknowledging each other’s strength began from this moment forward. Sybil explained that our desires and worth were in us. What we want is there, but we must define what we want, clearly, and without hesitation. As women nurtured each other, there was rainfall to match the cleansing.

75 year-old Florentina Carbonell with other sisters Julie Ziegler, Jodie Karigaca, and Sonya Merical

During the delicious locally grown dinner discussion flowed about kids, families, wants, and desires. Afterward, each participant was given a gratitude box filled with gifts from women-owned businesses including a SIS Circle t-shirt (logo design by mommy blogger and graphic designer Ruby Hunt), handmade bath soap from Ilo Mind & Body, peppermint spiritual bath from Queen Hippie Gypsy, a rose quartz bracelet designed from Gifts of Prosperity, herbal tea from Tara’s Teas, coffee mug from The Great Girlfriends, and other items donated by fellow SIS Circle members. With music playing in the background of empowered women including Mary J. Blige, India Arie, Erykah Badu, Lauryn Hill, and Alicia Keys during the free time, a couple of sisters showed off their acro-yoga talents, a few danced and sang freely, others shared personal stories strengthening our bonds into the wee hours of the night.

Day Two

Day two of the retreat came with a purple sunrise through lush trees. Coffee tea and a scrumptious breakfast continued the talks from the previous night. The ladies were ready for meditation led by Gifts of Prosperity owner Kenji Correa. Each breath guided in love and out with old habits. In with worthiness and out with doubt. In self love and out with self abuse. The light within looked different when we opened our eyes.

Next, sister Shumsha Hanif-Cruz, family law attorney, reminded each of us that “we cannot take care of others if we are not taking care of ourselves.” We were given a self-assessment test that showed each person where she should could grow in her self-care. Shumsha gave us a list of 100 acts of self-care which included small items like painting your nails to taking yourself on a date.

SIS Circle co-founder Elaine Carbonell opened the next session with a personal testimonial of how she worked her way out of feelings of unworthiness through feminine dance movement. Dance instructor, chocolatier, and birthing doula Mikka Minx loosened the stiffness from carrying the world on our shoulders followed by lunch.

The final activity was a vision board workshop where sister Sonja shared her boards to the group. Singing together and deciding on “Aunty Jams,” each woman put together the visions we wanted for ourselves in the near future; some wanted travel, some set positive health goals; others financial security. I realized feeling supported, open and heard is addicting. It made me want to be around this energy more. SIS Circle sisters ended the day with hugs, new and strengthened bonds of sisterhood, and a vision of her worth that exceeded expectations.

Angela Valparaiso and Kenji Correa
Brandy Collins, Delmica Karigaca, Angela Badami-Knight, Sybil Clark Amuti

Wellness Retreat — Inaugural SIS Circle Retreat – Westerbeke Ranch, Sonoma, CA

Brandy Collins is a Bay Area native living in Scorpio magic, observing of the world, and telling stories about people in random places. Follow on twitter @gurl79 or Instagram @story_soul_collector

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