We often express our gratitude for our loved ones and the many blessings that we receive. However, we forget that the lessons we learned along the way are something we need to acknowledge. We’re not shaming anyone in their choices but when we sat down and reflected, we found ourselves showing some gratitude for our earned experiences. Here are some of the lessons our founding sisters have learned from their younger days:
“I don’t have to impress anyone.”
We can feel more confident in ourselves with growth. There’s no longer a need to put on a full face of makeup just to go to the grocery store. There is no longer a need to pretend to be interested in your boyfriend’s favorite band or TV shows that you’re not interested in because your friends like it. It’s okay to wear sweats and still have a good time. There is freedom in just allowing yourself to be comfortable in your own skin.
“I don’t have to stay in hostels or crappy hotels when I travel.” At some point, we road tripped with a group of friends and there were 4 or 5 people taking turns sharing two queen-sized beds. This was a time when we bonded with our friends, learned who was the loudest person to snore and who don’t share their covers. There is nothing wrong with growing away from that and knowing if you can afford it, that you need your own room and are no longer willing to sleep foot to head.
“I like my heels but I also like my slippers.” Gaining some financial freedom is being able to spend some coin on a nice pair of shoes. You can proudly sport a pair of stilettos and do a catwalk strut for most of your day but there is nothing like those leopard print slippers when you get home.
“I don’t have to people when I don’t want to people.” On repeat and louder for the people in the back who did not hear it. We can take our damn self out to a nice dinner and movie or simply stay-in, binge-watch a series on Hulu, and put our phone on do not disturb.
“I have more discernment in my friendships.” Our relationships, more specifically our friendships will become more substantial. They become more valuable to us because they are more authentic. The conversations are less about partying and more about planning. The cattiness, backbiting, and pettiness of youthful friendships no longer have a place and are far too exhausting to maintain. We are more selective about who we allow into our spaces and who to give our energy to.
“There is strength in vulnerability.” We are warriors in so many parts of our lives. The knowledge that we don’t have to always put on a brave face and that it is okay to embrace the softness is the strongest part of our character. It’s okay to hold your friend’s hand when she needs to feel your strength. Take a moment to be a shoulder to cry on after a rough day at work.
“Everyone else’s problems are not my problems.” We don’t have to save anyone from themselves. There may have been a time when your friend’s every crisis felt like it was your crisis. At some point, we realize that our friends can handle their issues. We can support them on their journey but surely we can’t sit in her driveway in the car listening to Sade’s Sweetest Taboo every Tuesday night. Once, maybe if she has a bottle of good wine.
“Youth is wasted on the young.” We’re not judging our younger sisters nor the mounds of energy they have by any means. We reminisce about the days where we partied until the sun literally came up and went to work with only 3 hours of sleep, still wearing the eyeliner from the night before. Now, we are going to bed at 9 pm on Friday night. We served our time in the party life but we also know we took naps for granted.
Whether we are talking about vacations, lovers, shoes, or friends we want substance. In this stage of our lives, we are about quality over quantity. Like many of us, we have grown more experienced we have found that there are lessons we learned in our youth that have made us grateful for the progress and growth. Learning doesn’t end just because of age. Don’t worry sis, many of us are still learning these lessons.
About the author: Brandy Collins is a Bay Area native living in Scorpio magic, observing of the world, and telling stories about people in random places. Follow on twitter @gurl79 or Instagram @story_soul_collecter