Brandy Collins

August 29, 2019August 29, 2019

Six Degrees of SIS

Infographic vector created by freepik – www.freepik.com

Ever play Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon? The objective of the game is to connect any celebrity to Kevin Bacon by 6 people based on the “six degrees of separation” concept. It’s more fun to see if you can connect yourself to any person you can think of in the world and see if you can connect by 6 people. You to your cousin who went to high school with a guy who did a movie and so on and so on. Each person is connected to another person on the planet. That person is connected to another and another until you realize that the world is a small place.

This is what makes being a part of a community an amazing experience. As we encounter people on our journey we learn more about ourselves. We develop new interests and experiences. When we connect with others, we share these interests and experiences. This leads us to find our common ground with other people. Shared experiences shape our perceptions of the world. When these moments are enjoyable, we hold on to them and make more of them. When they are less than ideal, we find ways to change the world for better experiences.

We each walk into others’ lives for various reasons. Some people stay for years and become like family. Others are gone as quickly as they arrived with barely a memory. Not all connections are large, but they can be significant in huge ways. There are times when we may not know that we are making a connection. For example, the time one time you dropped your wallet and someone gave it back to you. A friend you just met invites you to a concert. You give the woman who does your hair a phone number to an apartment you saw open up for new tenants. Each small moment can lead to larger moments and our lives can be the sum of it all.

Other encounters can feel like life-changing events. When our sisters attended the SIS Circle Wellness retreat one year ago, meeting entrepreneur and co-host of The Great Girlfriends podcast Sybil Amuti was a welcome and engaging connection. That experience led to our founding SISters to have grown friendships, opportunities to change careers, build their businesses, participate in writing cohorts, and marathon runs. The opportunity for more growth continues every day.

On October 19, 2019 we are looking forward to connecting with sisters at our Strength In Sisterhood 2019 Summit: Resilience. We’ll begin in intention setting and yoga. Next, we’ll listen to our women’s panel on resilience. After that, there will be two workshops learning about crystal healing and the importance of self-care. A celebration reception will close the evening with music and food to nourish us. On Day 2 we will have a brunch and workshop allowing time for reflection and deeper connection with yourself and others. This is the hope that SIS Circle has for every event for our participants; to remove one degree from you to your goals or connections with others. We’ll see you there.

August 1, 2019August 1, 2019

Time for Rejuvenation

re·ju·ve·na·tion
noun
– the action or process of making someone or something look or feel better, younger, or more vital.

For many, summer is a time to take a break or go on a vacation or even a staycation. This is a perfect time to rejuvenate:

Celebrate. Give yourself a high five for all the positive progress made throughout the year. Look at anything that new that you have experienced or learned. These are moments that identify and shape your character. Even as adults we are still moving and growing into better versions of ourselves. This period of review is a good opportunity to take a look at your progress. It doesn’t have to be leaps of change in your life. It could be something as small as buying fresh flowers for your home because you set out to make your home more beautiful. Celebrate that effort because it was something you weren’t doing before.
Be patient. It’s okay if you are not where you thought you would be now. It’s possible that you set something into motion that requires more patience and less interaction. You may have also encountered a barrier that has you stumped. Take a look at that barrier and question why it’s a barrier and what you can learn from this moment. We all have setbacks and its okay to acknowledge those. The objective is not perfection but rather to continue the practice. Be patient with yourself and remember that you are on your journey. The journey itself may be the destination.
Review the intentions you set for yourself. Don’t forget that an intention is not a goal. It’s your purpose behind the goal. What is it that you set out to achieve and its purpose in your life? Recall why you made your vision board. One of the hardest lessons to learn is releasing the ego. Our egos may want us to hold fast to ideas that may be slowing us down. Your purpose for a goal may have also shifted as you worked through it. The intention may not have been serving you in the way you thought it would. You aren’t beholden to the original intention if it no longer serves where you are going. Permit yourself to let it go.
Rest. You have been toiling away at making your business boom, your fitness goals or finding a new relationship. Whatever it was you set out to do, remember that you cannot enjoy what you have accomplished or will accomplish if you’re burnt out. We are living in a world that provides access to information and people non-stop. You may need to unplug by the pool and read a magazine. Take time to sit down with a coloring book. It’s okay during the hustle to stop and acknowledge your work by journaling your thoughts without nitpicking over what you haven’t accomplished yet. You will feel refreshed and get back to your journey with renewed energy.

Wherever you are, know that you have come a lot farther than you think you did. You can find ways to rejuvenate yourself as you continue the rest of the year. Before you know it, you will be setting new intentions and goals.

May 30, 2019May 30, 2019

Movement Means

When we think of movement often we think of physical activity. Everything in your life is about movement towards a better you.

This month’s blog post takes a different twist in our format. We used synonyms for movement listing ways we can work towards building ourselves as well as those around us. Our intention is to use the theme of movement in more ways than one in your life.

Let’s get up and get moving together!

ACT on what you say you will
Help ADVANCE someone else’s progress and growth by sharing your own story
CHANGE behaviors that no longer serve you
Work on the DEVELOPMENT of new skills and mindsets
EXERCISE your mind as well as your body
Ask yourself who do you want to EVOLVE into
Take time to go with the FLOW
Don’t be deterred by the FLUX of life’s ups and downs|
Do a kind GESTURE without expecting acknowledgement or accolades
Take a small JOURNEY by yourself
Pay attention to the MIGRATION of people in and out of our lives
MOVE forward with ideas that you’ve put off
MANEUVER through tough challenges without distracting away from them
PASSAGE of time is inevitable but what you do with it is not
Make incremental PROGRESS toward your goals
Pause when you need to avoid REGRESSION to your old mindsets
SHIFT your priorities to make sure you are practicing self care
Do one activity that STIRS your curiosity
TRANSCEND all negative energy

About the author: Brandy Collins is a Bay Area native living in Scorpio magic, observing of the world, and telling stories about people in random places. Follow on twitter @gurl79 or Instagram @story_soul_collecter

April 19, 2019April 19, 2019

Grow in Your Self-Trust

When springtime comes around, we begin to see the greenery and lushness around us. The sun starts to shine, and flowers are in bloom. Many of us experience the springtime within us at other times of the year.

Throughout different points in our childhood, we are taught to rely on others to help us, nurture us and provide direction to our lives. Into our early teens and as adults we are expected to move from interdependence into decisiveness without really being taught how. Then as adults, we are to become experts or rely on the expertise of others to guide our lives. However, in our development, we miss an essential lesson which is trusting ourselves and our instincts. As we grow through different phases in our lives, we become different versions of ourselves. We live many lives as we become who we will be.

Our individual growth also has an impact on not just ourselves but the world around us. Think of yourself as a plant. When you are nourished with light and nutrients you rise and share your nutrients with the ground. You even may feed other plants. You give oxygen and keep others alive. But what happens to a poorly cared-for plant? They seem unsightly. Can kill off other plants. Some carry disease which can spread. Plants, unlike people, don’t doubt their growth.

To trust ourselves we should ask ourselves questions that we strengthen our growth and build our self-trust.

What do you like about yourself? Start by making a list of the things you enjoy about yourself. Similar to trust in others, you would not put trust someone you didn’t like.

When do you celebrate yourself and your accomplishments? Even something as simple is as looking yourself in the mirror and saying “Job well done” is a small celebration for you to acknowledge overcoming or growing from something. Remove the idea that humility means you can’t accept praise, even from yourself.

Where are the receipts for when you made good decisions? Identify those times when your instincts were right. Look at the moments when you had an idea or thought that lead you to make a decision based on your instincts.

What about the time when your instincts didn’t work? Acknowledge that sometimes bad decisions do happen. Don’t minimize these instances but rather look at them objectively and remember you learned a lesson from it. Don’t let it define you but rather shape your decision making.

Would you allow someone to talk to your child, friend or cherished family member poorly? If no, then do not allow this for yourself. Your self-talks can either help or hinder your growth. When you trust in yourself and your instincts you will find that you continue to bloom, much like a healthy plant.

April 1, 2019April 1, 2019

A Visit From The Past

And there it is. Your old fling. Your old friend. That person who hurt you. That did you wrong. Or even the perceived wrong. But here you are crossing paths — a “like” on a social media post. There’s a message in your inbox with their name sitting unread. You read it. The words “I miss you.” The “I hate that we are no longer…”

Now comes the question of should you respond. “I’m in a different space now,” you say to yourself. “I’m a changed person.” #unbothered #blessed

But you are still asking yourself questions. Should I let this person back into my life? Better yet, should I even entertain a conversation? This shouldn’t be this hard. Sorry, sis. You wouldn’t be struggling with it if there wasn’t a need in you to deal with this. It’s not your gut telling you not to speak but rather your ego. Conflicting memes that tell us that everything that you left behind should stay in the past and also “If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours.” Going back even to consider a conversation and openly admitting the desire to do seems weak. There’s the embarrassment, hurt and humiliation there. “But it’s not,” you say.

Before you do anything, identify what you gained when your relationship ended. If that relationship hadn’t left, would you have been able to learn to travel alone? Had it not been for that hurt, would you have reached out to call a different friend for advice? Dig deep. Write down your questions to yourself. Find the reward there.

Take a pause and realize that you are where you are BECAUSE of that circumstance, not in spite of it. Acknowledge it as that moment that gave you enough energy to go back to school, go after your promotion, make healthier choices or change your friendships. We’re not saying that everyone deserves this consideration or to be a hero in your survival story. People who were physically or mentally abusive don’t get that power. Under the weight of pain, something in you may have felt broken. This piece of your life existed and created a crack in you that you are sealing and repairing with gold.

The need to reach out may still be with you, sis. You miss them back. Ask yourself how are they going to improve your life? Is there value for you there? Do they value you? There was something that you felt was dismissed or underappreciated. You may not have liked the person you were when you were with them. If you don’t miss who you were or feel positive, enriching feelings then what are you gaining?

Finally, are you still revisiting the pain, hurt or embarrassment that you experienced before? Are you telling yourself that you want “closure”? If the answer is yes, then #bothered #stressed

Just because you respond doesn’t mean you have to rekindle your relationship. However, to revisit your past, it must be in your past. It means that you’re willing to face the pain, confront it and then willingly and KNOWINGLY let it go. Don’t answer that call. Delete the message, sis. You’re healing hasn’t been completed, yet.

March 2, 2019April 1, 2019

pas·sion

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

pas·sion
Noun

1 : a strong feeling or emotion He spoke with passion.

2 : an object of someone’s love, liking, or desire Art is my passion.

3 : strong liking or desire : love She has a passion for music.

When we speak of passion we typically talk about it as an emotion and in relation to people we share our lives with. But rarely do we speak of our passion for something a will to action. It’s how we gather our strength and drive our decisions.There are stories and articles that speak “Awakening passion” or “Finding what we are passionate about”. But these don’t happen easy or overnight. There is a love of what we are doing or the goal in mind that becomes the driving force for our actions. There is a need to connect to something more meaningful. That is passion. We wanted to share some thoughts about what passion means from other perspectives.

“The happiness of a (wo)man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.” Alfred Lord Tennyson

Following your passions isn’t enough. It takes practice and work toward becoming a master at your passions. Whether its building a website, knitting scarves or public speaking, it takes time and effort to become proficient. Learn your craft, build your network and make the connections you need to build.

“My passions were all gathered together like fingers that made a fist. Drive is censored aggression today: I knew it then as purpose.” Betty Davis

There is power in knowing your purpose. It drives how and why you make your decisions. This leads towards ideas and goals setting. There’s power in believing in yourself and your own potential. It drives others to want to support you and empowers them to act. This can be your fuel to continue working when you want to stop.

“Only as you do know yourself can your brain service you as a sharp and efficient tool. Know your own failings, passions and prejudices so you can separate them from what you see.” Bernard M Baruch

The work doesn’t come easy but it makes you grow. Following what you truly love can help you to learn what you’re capable of and how far you are willing to go for what you want. When you want something you push yourself to achieve.

“We should every night call ourselves to an account; What infirmity have I mastered today? What passions opposed? What temptation resisted? What virtue acquired? Our vices will abort of themselves if they be brought every day to the shrift?” Seneca

When you find your passion, hold yourself accountable to continue in your work. Once you start to find your rhythm, your habits may change. Your priorities will be centered around reaching your goals. Take into account what you stand to gain and what you are willing to part with for your passion.

Photo by Randalyn Hill on Unsplash

“Only passions, great passions, can elevate the soul to great things.” Denis Diderot

Finding what you truly enjoy doing is rewarding. It can make your days feel fuller and when you end your day your exhaustion has more meaning. It becomes habitual and almost addictive.

“Forget about the fast lane. If you really want to fly, harness your power to your passion. Honor your calling. Everybody has one. Trust your heart and success will come to you.” Oprah Winfrey

Honor what you are doing and own it. If you feel that this work is important, it’s because it is. The work you are doing may seem small but it means something to someone, even if that someone is only you right now. Continue to do the work, revel in the hustle and bustle. Speak with gusto when you speak about what you’re doing.

So sis, ask yourself what drives you to do the work you’re doing? Are you passionate about your purpose?

January 23, 2019April 1, 2019

New Year, New Intentional Me

Written by guest author: Brandy Collins

Every year there is a picture that circulates of a woman walking up a set of stairs, leaving behind bad habits and old relationships, etc. She’s stepping up these stairs toward her ideas and goals. The year has changed over time, but the blocks behind her have remained the same. Is that you, sis?

There is something to be said for making changes on purpose. For our plans and goals to succeed, we must act with intention. “An intention is a directed impulse of consciousness that contains the seed form of that which you aim to create. Like real seeds, intentions can’t grow if you hold on to them.” according to The Chopra Center 5 Step to Setting Intentions. If the same problems and woes have been following you, it may be time to change tactics.

During a retreat follow up session and in our SIS circle FB group, co-founder Leilani asked the question: What does being intentional mean to you? Here are some things our sisters answered:

Intentions are not goals– Your intentions are representations of your desires. Not wants or needs but what serves you to becoming the best version of yourself. Goals are the what of an action. Your intentions are the reason you created your goals. For example, you may want a healthier lifestyle because your family history shows you are predisposed to diabetes. Keeping your intentions at the forefront of your actions help maintain focus and gain a clearer pathway to your goal.

Be purposeful with your actions– Go into your decisions with the idea that you have some control over your outcome because you are participating in making movements. There are times where we may feel like life is happening to us. Setting an intention keeps you in the driver seat of your own life.

Pause and acknowledge where you are– It’s as important to know where you are as where you are going. Be mindful of who you are in the present moment and what you are capable of. This also means that not everything needs to be in the perfect place at the perfect moment for something to be set into motion. Take a self-assessment and be honest with yourself. We don’t begin by running in a 5k if we can barely catch our breath running up a flight of stairs. Start with just walking one foot in front of the other.

Prepare to receive or remove something– Our intentions could bring people into our lives, remove them, change a job or change a location. Preparing for what is to come helps us make space for what we need. What should have been what you were asking for can feel like a struggle if you have not properly prepared for what you’re asking. If you’re building your client base to a larger scale figure out the logistics to serve those clients. Expand where you want to see growth and remove what no longer serves you because you are receiving abundance, which can be a more significant responsibility.

Being accountable to yourself– Being intentional is a commitment to yourself or someone else that you will take action. Some of us “maybe” our way through the options in our life. Our sisters admitted we will answer maybe to an invite because we’re afraid to say no. Others said we will say maybe to something because we want the option to say no. Setting a clear intention means we are accountable that we are taking action and following through on our efforts.

Don’t leave yourself behind– Check in with yourself that you are in a healthy space to focus. We emphasize self-care frequently because only you know what you need to be the best you. What’s the point if you’re not well enough to reap the benefits? Take care of your needs big or small. Set aside time for yourself to bring balance into your space.

Now it’s your turn. What are your intentions for 2019? How can you be intentional about what you do, what you desire, and who you want to become?

December 28, 2018April 1, 2019

Winter Wellness Retreat Reflection

Written by guest author: Brandy Collins

On the road driving toward the Westerbeke Ranch are two signs that say “Time to slow down.” It was the first reminder for sisters joining the Inaugural SIS Circle Wellness Retreat that this was their time and it should be taken wisely and with patience. Internal work lay ahead.

Upon arrival, we greeted each other with warmth and bringing our energy for the weekend’s theme “This Woman’s Worth.” We all settled into our rooms, roamed the grounds with a cup of tea, and discovered nooks to relax like sitting by the picturesque fire.

SIS Circle executive director and co-founder Leilani Carbonell Pedroni

Just before dusk, we gathered at the retreat center’s main room where SIS Circle co-founder Leilani Carbonell Pedroni welcomed us and gave us insight into why and how SIS Circle started. The name says it all. SIS stands for strength in sisterhood. We are all strong, and as women together, our power can serve to support, care and inspire each of us collectively.

*Sybil Clark Amuti from The Great Girlfriends Podcast*

Next, Leilani introduced guest speaker Sybil Clark Amuti, co-host of the podcast, The Great Girlfriends. Sybil gave us an empowering, and vulnerable talk then led an exercise where each woman partnered with our eyes closed and spoke love into one another. “Go back to the 5-year-old you. Who was that little girl? Was she safe? Are you nurturing her now?” With my eyes shut I was in tears. I knew coming into this space that something had to be shaken loose. It wasn’t a tumultuous year for me, but something was stifling. Something was missing, and for months I couldn’t figure out what it was. Here I was crying in front of a woman I had only met a few hours ago, teary-eyed and hugging one another. The bond was sealed, and the work on internally acknowledging each other’s strength began from this moment forward. Sybil explained that our desires and worth were in us. What we want is there, but we must define what we want, clearly, and without hesitation. As women nurtured each other, there was rainfall to match the cleansing.

75 year-old Florentina Carbonell with other sisters Julie Ziegler, Jodie Karigaca, and Sonya Merical

During the delicious locally grown dinner discussion flowed about kids, families, wants, and desires. Afterward, each participant was given a gratitude box filled with gifts from women-owned businesses including a SIS Circle t-shirt (logo design by mommy blogger and graphic designer Ruby Hunt), handmade bath soap from Ilo Mind & Body, peppermint spiritual bath from Queen Hippie Gypsy, a rose quartz bracelet designed from Gifts of Prosperity, herbal tea from Tara’s Teas, coffee mug from The Great Girlfriends, and other items donated by fellow SIS Circle members. With music playing in the background of empowered women including Mary J. Blige, India Arie, Erykah Badu, Lauryn Hill, and Alicia Keys during the free time, a couple of sisters showed off their acro-yoga talents, a few danced and sang freely, others shared personal stories strengthening our bonds into the wee hours of the night.

Day Two

Day two of the retreat came with a purple sunrise through lush trees. Coffee tea and a scrumptious breakfast continued the talks from the previous night. The ladies were ready for meditation led by Gifts of Prosperity owner Kenji Correa. Each breath guided in love and out with old habits. In with worthiness and out with doubt. In self love and out with self abuse. The light within looked different when we opened our eyes.

Next, sister Shumsha Hanif-Cruz, family law attorney, reminded each of us that “we cannot take care of others if we are not taking care of ourselves.” We were given a self-assessment test that showed each person where she should could grow in her self-care. Shumsha gave us a list of 100 acts of self-care which included small items like painting your nails to taking yourself on a date.

SIS Circle co-founder Elaine Carbonell opened the next session with a personal testimonial of how she worked her way out of feelings of unworthiness through feminine dance movement. Dance instructor, chocolatier, and birthing doula Mikka Minx loosened the stiffness from carrying the world on our shoulders followed by lunch.

The final activity was a vision board workshop where sister Sonja shared her boards to the group. Singing together and deciding on “Aunty Jams,” each woman put together the visions we wanted for ourselves in the near future; some wanted travel, some set positive health goals; others financial security. I realized feeling supported, open and heard is addicting. It made me want to be around this energy more. SIS Circle sisters ended the day with hugs, new and strengthened bonds of sisterhood, and a vision of her worth that exceeded expectations.

Angela Valparaiso and Kenji Correa
Brandy Collins, Delmica Karigaca, Angela Badami-Knight, Sybil Clark Amuti

Wellness Retreat — Inaugural SIS Circle Retreat – Westerbeke Ranch, Sonoma, CA

Brandy Collins is a Bay Area native living in Scorpio magic, observing of the world, and telling stories about people in random places. Follow on twitter @gurl79 or Instagram @story_soul_collector

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