Remember that one time you were with your friends and another group of people saw something strange happen? It could have been something small like a dog off its leash running. Or someone in a car spinning donuts in the middle of the street and then drives off. (If you’re in the Bay Area, this is not an uncommon sight). A group of strangers all witnessing something together, and then share a knowing glance, sparks something inside of us. We begin talking about what we saw. We validate the experience with one another. That is a shared experience.
A shared experience is doing, seeing, or hearing something with someone else. This experience can transform your perspective of the people you thought you knew. It can spark conversations, jokes, laughter, and friendships.
It doesn’t matter if we are in the same space with people; these experiences have a way of shaping how we respond to the change, how we grow, and how we live. That text message to a colleague during a conference call is the small push we need to feel that we are not alone. Sharing news articles on social media and commenting on what we read with our friends allows us to see the world with a common perspective. In 2008 the world watched as the United States swore in the country’s first black president. 2015 brought the most sought after and talked about Broadway musical, Hamilton. 2019 Game of Thrones fans lamented how the show ended in disappointment. 2020 gave us a global pandemic and Teddy Riley vs. Babyface a musical battle on Instagram where a captive audience of fans and celebrities watched, danced, and shared jokes.
We’ve heard the adage, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” However, it’s also true we need these small interactions to make us feel a part of something bigger than ourselves. It’s easy for us to lose sight of how we are connected through separation. We should be forgiving of ourselves when we begin to crave these connections. It’s okay to ask for these small moments of connection. It’s okay to tell someone a story about your day. It’s okay to say to a friend, “I don’t feel brave today.” These are all things we experience together.
It’s through these experiences we find our commonalities and also can learn to respect the differences of others. We can see the same shows but feel vastly different feelings. Our perspectives are so vast that they can bring us to a commonplace. We need our circles of people to be there for us in the good times, as well as the more challenging ones. They can make the smallest moments feel monumental.
Sis, are you sharing with others? Did you remember to reach out to someone and let them know that you are available when they are in need? Are you asking for the times that you are in need? When we remember to reach out, we don’t have to feel so separated or alone.
About the author: Brandy Collins is a Bay Area native full of Scorpio magic and self-proclaimed Professional Aunty telling stories for Oakland Voices and numerous group chats. Follow on twitter @gurl79 or Instagram @story_soul_collecter
